uestions are a very powerful and simple way of changing the way we feel. We run a non-stop dialogue with ourselves all day long. We are asking questions, clarifying, affirming. We are thinking. Yet, most of us are not consciously choosing the questions we ask ourselves everyday. Are you familiar with some of these questions?
Questions direct our focus. Right now I could ask you what’s great about your life. What are you proud of? What are you grateful for? Who loves you? And it will take your mind in a certain direction. Take a moment to actually ask yourself these questions right now and notice your feelings. All these are empowering questions, they take our mind to a place where we feel good.
So, here are the 3 most consistent questions that I actually use and have helped me change the direction of my focus, and in turn, change the quality of my emotions.
What’s my outcome? What do I really want?
We seldom seem to have clarity about what we want. What we want of our day. What we want of a meeting. What we want of an evening. What we want of a discussion. Knowing what you want in any given situation makes it so much easier to have it, do it and be it. Clarity is power! Clarity keeps us on track! Clarity saves us time. Clarity gets us to our goal!
What else could this mean?
We habitually come up with the worst possible interpretation in any situation. The boss wrote this so it means I’m in trouble. She looked at me like this; so it means she doesn’t like me. I didn’t get the promotion; so it means life is unfair. They didn’t show up on time; so this means they don’t care. There is no Internet; so this means I can get nothing done. The list is endless.
In any situation you have the choice to come up with a negative interpretation, or a positive interpretation. It’s far more useful to choose the positive! The positive choice will make you feel good.
When you feel good, you attract more good into your life. We need to become masters of meaning in order to become masters of emotions. Since meaning determines feeling, and feelings determine results, by changing the meaning you change the quality of results!
What’s the right thing to do?
How often are you conflicted between your heart and your mind? I bet enough times. The conflict between our desires, our values and beliefs is a pretty common one. I believe for us to be really happy and peaceful, we must be true to our own values. When our thoughts and behaviours are consistent with our values and with our identity we live a happier life. So when I feel conflicted, I ask myself; What is the right thing to do? Just by asking this question, I put my heart and my soul in charge of my decision. Once I do that, I can never go wrong.
What are some of the questions you use habitually? Are they serving you? What new questions can you come up with?
This is an age that easily directs our attention and thoughts to fear and negative places. Become aware of your internal dialogue. Frame your inner conversation and questions to the positive and steer your mind to a place of positive outcomes.