HOW TO BE MORE LIKABLE
How to be someone people are naturally drawn toW
e all want to be liked! We have a need to be noticed, to feel unique, to be loved and to be appreciated. Yet, few of us know how to meet these needs in an authentic and natural way.
We use anger, or sadness, depression or anxiety, illness or urgency to meet our need for love and connection. Sometimes we crack jokes to meet our need to connect and attract attention. The vehicle we use to meet our needs depends on which technique got us love and attention as a child.
If as a child you learned to cry in order to get love and attention, we continue using that as an adult. If as a child we got our need for love and attention met by being funny, we use the same vehicle to get love and attention as an adult.
I see nothing wrong with our need to be loved and be noticed, as long we know how to meet that need in ways that are genuine and natural. Here are some tips:
That’s right, it’s simple, it’s easy and will win friends always! Very few of us actually wear this most beautiful ornament around. Smiles make us feel relaxed, it softens our features and makes us look attractive and approachable. Smile and people will be drawn to you almost instantly.
People who breathe deeply and consciously tend to be more connected with themselves and so more connected with others. People who don’t breathe deeply, seem more tense, nervous and uncomfortable with themselves which makes them not so attractive.
We all have our own ways of thinking, our own opinions, our own beliefs and values. When we judge others or defend ourselves we not only feel horrible inside but also actually have it reflect in our physiology, on our face. When you are more open, loving, caring, you look more attractive and are more likable.
I had read this phrase somewhere and totally loved it! “Authenticity is the new black”. It’s one of the most attractive traits that draws people to us. Congruency is when you mean what you say. When your mind, body, heart, spirit all speak the same language. When who you are inside is who you are outside, and your mind and heart are aligned.
A lot of the really popular leaders have this trait. Think of Gandhi. Nelson Mandela. Oprah Winfrey. They all have one thing in common that attracts millions to them. They are real. They are sincere and true to their own values and standards.
When you engage in random acts of kindness and are more forgiving towards yourself and to others, your inner peace will show in your look and body language. We have all had bad days. We have been ignorant. We have been pre occupied. Being understanding and considerate will go a long way in making deep connections
Be present, and take the time to listen to people. Listening and understanding, rather than judging is an absolute heart winner. It’s one of the most precious gifts you can give to someone, and they feel drawn to you like a magnet.
Be a giver
Make giving and sharing a part of your identity. Help people because it’s who you are. You will be amazed at how many real connections you will make in the process.
It’s good to be confident. It’s useful to want to protect yourself and be independent. And it’s useful also to be you. Listen, you don’t have to know everything. Be everything. Do everything.
Loosen up and have some fun! The only perfection I know of is you being you in this moment.
Give others an opportunity to take care of you. Accept when you don’t know something and turn your complexes into curiosity. When you don’t know something, accept it and be open to learning. When you feel fearful, be open to love. When you’re feeling stuck, be open to help. You don’t have to be busy all the time. Loosen up and have some fun! The only perfection I know of is you being you in this moment.
Have a sense of humor
We all make mistakes. We all do things, look back and say, can’t believe I did that. We all have moments when we feel we absolutely don’t understand someone’s behavior. We certainly have moments when we don’t understand what god was thinking! Being able to laugh at life’s ups and downs is a great skill to have and certainly makes you an easier and fun person to be around.
People who focus on the blessings in their lives are not only more successful, they are also more likable. They have an attitude of positivity and ease about themselves, which attracts others to them. They attract people, health, abundance, joy and peace to themselves very easily.
Something to think about
I believe to get love; we must give love to others and most importantly to ourselves. To feel special, we must make others feel special. To feel noticed, we must take the time to notice others. Life is too precious. Smile more. Hug more. Love more. Care more. Play more!!